Do you ever wonder what happened to your favorite gal pals from way back when? I do, and that’s what Facebook is for. But for me – a crazy avid reader – I counted the heroines of favorite childhood novels among my dearest gal pals. So indulge me as I speculate about how some of my paperback friends from 20 years ago might have turned out once they hit their grown-up years.
Anastasia Krupnik (Anastasia series) – Living as a poet/waitress in New York City, constantly having trouble with men since she just makes LIKES and DISLIKES lists about each and sadly, each man she goes out with has more DISLIKES. Roommates with Daphne Bellingham even though Daphne is regularly short on her half of the rent. Always bailing her pesky younger brother Sam out of jail as his childhood behavior has developed into adult criminality. Fortunately, Anastasia doesn’t get warts anymore, but she cannot get the courage to look up Washburn Cummings and ask him out for drinks.
Margaret Simon (Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret) – Started asking God for relief from her cramps shortly after he fulfilled her request that she get her period, and she hasn’t stopped bugging the man upstairs since. God tried to help her out by hooking her up with Philip Leroy as a date to the senior prom, but guess who stole Philip away from her and hooked up with him under the bleachers? That little liar Nancy Wheeler. Well karma’s a bitch because Philip knocked up Nancy the summer after graduation and Margaret ended up going to college and majoring in Comparative Religions. Currently living in a nice condo in a major metropolitan area with her boyfriend Mark and their dog Bear and working as a freelance grant writer for non-profits. Last heard asking God for a raise and a marriage proposal.
Ramona Quimby (Ramona series) – Performance artist in Portland best known for her work with toothpaste. Had to get a restraining order out against Howie Kemp as his childhood affections turned dark during their mid twenties. Has a cat named Even Pickier Pickier. Spends summers on the Oregon shore with Beezus, now a radical lesbian separatist.
Marcy Lewis (The Cat Ate My Gymsuit) – Estranged from her parents. Lost the weight, gained the weight, lost the weight, etc. before finally saying, “The Hell with it, I like myself the size I am.” Went to school to become an English teacher like her idol Ms. Finney. Currently working with insufferable teenagers and trying to get them to see life really isn’t so bad, and if you’re lucky, you might even get to grow up to be an English teacher with a weight problem.
Kristy Thomas (The Baby Sitters Club) – Has, like, 10 kids. Married to a patent attorney. Stay at home mom and classic helicopter parent, head of the Stoneybrook Elementary PTA, room mother, soccer team mom, and able to kill a teenager’s baby-sitting career with a single Tweet. Demands her sitters bring Kid Kits to all jobs. Of course her own kids are totally Hell on wheels. Lives down the street from Mary Anne Spier who married and then divorced Logan after Logan was caught cheating with Claudia Kishi. Guess Logan couldn’t resist Claudia’s killer style and her constant supply of candy hidden all over the house.
Every girl in a Lois Duncan novel – In therapy or hospitalized for post traumatic stress disorder.